Judy x Carl
by assmaster9000
Summary: Carl finally gets his woman OWO
1. Chapter 1

Judy x Carl

"Honey, I'm gay," said Hugh Neutron as he ripped his pants off to reveal rainbow underwear.

"Oh fuck," said Judy Neutron, exiting hastily to bake a pie.

As she put the fully baked pie on the windowsill to rest like a nuclear housewife, tears fell from her eyes like stars, her heart breaking over her husband's homosexual revelation.

Her son, Jimmy, was currently taking the world by storm overseas, and she knew better than to bother him when he was probably delivering a conference in Japan.

The rest of his cohort had graduated high school and were in university.

It was late afternoon and the golden sunlight was hitting the kitchen when, suddenly, the glorious figure of Carl Wheezer appeared.

Judy's thighs clenched in anticipation as she startled. "Oh! Caaaarrlll! You surprised me, what are you doing here?"

Carl climbed in through the window sexily. "To butter your croissant, baby."

"Oh, Caaaarrllll," swooned Judy. "You've grown so... big."

"No words on God's green earth can describe how spectacularly erect I am right now," Carl quoted, surely from some fine literature. He pulled off his tie. "Call me..." He lashed Judy's plump ass with it seductively. "Mister Wheezer."

"OwO," said Judy.

And then they fucked.

Hugh eloped with that annoying shitstain Sheen and they lived blissfully on Planet Sheen for the rest of their twinktastically homosexual lives.


	2. miracle of childbirth

"ugh im preganenant," groaneded Judy as she vomittt over toilette

"ooft yeet rip," winced Carl. "We go hospiTAAAAL now."

weee woo weee woo they go hospital

"hnnnnnggggghhhhh push," say doctor Steve as he stare at Judy's vagagege

"will hurt baby top of head?" Carl asked worriedly

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" said Judy.

POP! baby come out like ugly bagel wagon

"Beautiful," Carl cooed. "OWO WHAT A PRETATEY GIRL."

"I eats," say Doctor Steve and he devour baby whole

"NOOOOOOO" SAY CARL

to be continued?


	3. chase is on

weee woo weee wooooo big chomp Dr Steve eat Judy Carl spawn speed out building like fire truck on fire big fire

"hurt no baby digestion!" screamed Judy she got lots of starch massks cuz of baby in lil tummy befoe

"AYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAAYA" SAY CARL AS HE BUST BALLS AFTER DR STEVEYWEE

"EEEE" screm STEVEWEE

BOOM PORTAL APPEAR WOO EW WOE WHSSSSSHHH WOOOSHH

BIG CAR COME

"HONK HONK IT IS CHINA" SAY CHINESE BOY DRIVING CARE

HE CHING CHONG RUN OVER THAT STEVE BITCH

EXCELLENT KUNG FU

"oh my budDHA" Carl pray in big reverence

what will the happen next?

to be contined!


	4. judy gets n word pass

Judy has post-natal depression.

why?

cuz Carl find out HE A LADY

wel no he noa t actull lady

but 4 sum rason he tits milk getting inside build up till they're very big

becuz Judy gabe birth to immy before (who is still in Japan) her milk kind of run out becaue jimmy is so smart he brain

uber big

seriously it make up 89% of his head space

but Judy milk is all run out now because she used it all to make Jimmy smart

Wasn't like shhe could rely on that deadbeat rainbow ex-husband of hers, and that ragingly homosexual Asian poopyfartdickhole who cucked her

She get very depressed when she sees the up-and-down motion of Carl's moobs as their baby girl gets brestfead

"Ugh that's it" Judy say once and for all 1 day "I'm gon get a tan."

"Okay baby," reply carl "ily"

Judy go get tan

She fall asleep in tanning bed

when she wake up

"OMG IM BLACK"

Judy lief will never be the same...

to be contined?


	5. carl VS udy

carl screm as house roof fall down in come black Judy

"holy titsucker miracle" he moaned.

he yeets daughter aside and say "JUDE what happen to you you look like u from ghetto"

"I am no longer Judy," said Judy, as a dark aura flared around her; her hair rose as her voice echoed throughout the broken room, commanding. "I am... Judy Black!"

Carl paused. "I see," he said in the end, lifting a hand to palm his face. He took a deep breath. "Very well then. It seems you've had a major power boost," his hand dropped to the side, revealing his Mangekyo Sharingan, "my love. I'm sorry, Judy, but I won't go easy on you."

"Feh." Judy turned her head and spat to the side. "You have oppressed me for too long, husband. Now I shall take back my rightful place as Milk Supplier for our spawn, created during a bout of passionate consummation."

Smirking sadly, Carl dropped his gaze. _Do you see this, readers...?_ _This heartbreaking circumstance..._ He lifted his eyes, his Sharingan spinning furiously. _Has compelled even the author to once again use proper grammar and vocabulary, the kind which hasn't been seen since chapter one!_

"Well, husband?" goaded Judy, spreading her arms out. "Come at me!"

* * *

Around them, everything burned. What was once a bustling city had been reduced to little more than a crater. On the other side of the planet, earthquakes shook the land, toppling the widest mountains and the tallest skyscrapers. Volcanos erupted along the hemisphere, magma spewing out of the ground and evaporating oceans instantaneously. Ash covered the earth.

In the centre of the crater stood Judy and Carl, their bodies littered with gashes and blooming bruises.

"Judy," Carl pleaded as the woman lifted her arm to deliver one final ki blast; he reminisced of their time together—of their first time together to the birth of their daughter. Tears welled up in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks and pooling at the pudge of his double-chin. "Please don't do this."

For a moment, Judy hesitated. Then she shook her head, as if she had been possessed in that one brief moment of clarity. "I have the power of the n-word!" she boomed, rising into the air. "I have the ability to utter such a word in seven different accents! Did you think, fool, that I would ever be complacent by your side?! I was born to _win_, Carl! Now take this!"

Bellowing for all the earth's remaining denizens to hear, she said the n-word in her accents, each syllable twisting in the air and forming a spear of darkness that rocketed toward Carl.

"SUSANOO!" Carl screamed, and his chakra exploded outward, forming a behemoth of a humanoid warrior.

The blast engulfed him, and all was silent.

**_To be continued..._**


	6. finale

Judy's chest heaved as the dust cleared, the toll of her _Ghetto no Jutsu: N-word in Seven Different Accents_ too much for her body. Blood trickled from her mouth and eyes, splitting into several streams as they trailed down her tan neck.

_Tan_, she realized groggily, _Tan, not black... I've been such a fool... I've overtaxed my body..._

Carl's samurai apparition fractured, leaving the rotund little man in the centre of a crater that stretched across the city. He, too, was worse for wear—his body shutting down from the immense pressure he had put on it. His chakra pathways were depleted, and he dropped to his knees.

As Judy levitated toward the earth with the last of her power, she regarded her fallen husband, feeling the back of her eyes burn.

Slowly, she approached, halting in front of him. Then she lowered herself on her knees as well, so that they could finally meet each other's gaze.

"Judy," Carl whispered wetly. "I love you. I'm sorry... I would do anything... for your breasts to once again be supple with milk."

"Oh, Carl," Judy's voice broke, "That doesn't matter anymore." Tears fell from her eyes as she mourned the memory of their broken love. "I'm so sorry, my love. I was blind and selfish—I didn't know what I had until I lost it all."

With a great moan, Carl fell to his side. "I'll see you... on the other side..."

"CARL!" Judy screamed, weeping even harder.

The ghost of a smile on his face, Carl closed his eyes for one last time...

And opened them once more as a golden light almost blinded him.

"it is me, ur spawn," say their son/daughter idk i forgot gender of baby already hahaha "let the milk flow"

WITH A GREAT BURST OF ENERGY milk exploded outward from Judy's tiddies, instantly rejuvenating carl and saving the dey

dey was saved

carl and judy and spawn all hug

everything works out in the end because they fucking communicated, you bitch-ass punks

end

_a/N: omg thanks gozaimasu for reading watashi's story sugoi desu carl x judy sooo kawaii teehee~ uwu_


End file.
